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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498888">I’m in love with this guy but it’s none of his business!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasontoddwashere/pseuds/jasontoddwashere'>jasontoddwashere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, X-Force (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Closeted Character, First Kiss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pre-Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:09:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasontoddwashere/pseuds/jasontoddwashere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Julio, Star, and the strange rules on planet Earth.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julio Richter/Shatterstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I’m in love with this guy but it’s none of his business!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julio is totally drunk. He can’t remember the last time he’d been this messed up. The stuff he was drinking tonight was from space, a parting gift from Lila Cheney, so it’s totally not that he’s a lightweight. It’s just Lila’s funky ass space booze. </p><p>
  <span>In an attempt to get a hold of himself he splashes his face with cool water from the sink. He blinks at his reflection in the mirror, dripping wet, and tries to decide if he feels better or not. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thinks after a moment, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he feels pretty much the same</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just as unsteady on his feet as before, he returns to the room that X-Force has claimed as their own little common room inside Xavier’s Institute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And what a sobering sight he’s greeted with, Star laid out on the floor, Terry and Tabs leaning over him. Theresa has a salt shaker in her hand, all of their shirts are rolled up, and Bobby is passed out on the floor, a plate of sliced limes beside his head. The girls are laughing uncontrollably and fumbling with Star like he’s a mannequin. Star’s face is calm and alert, almost introspective, but he's gone rigid like he’s bracing for a car crash or something. He has one hand closed in a fist, practically tearing the couch cushion above his head in two. Tabby has the wrist of his other hand in her own, pulling him further down onto the floor. Julio knows that Star could break the hold if he wanted to because he’s got like a hundred pounds on her and way more training. But he doesn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tabby and Theresa don’t seem to notice, and of course they wouldn’t, they don’t know Star like he knows Star. Theresa leans down, opens her mouth, and Star turns his head into his shoulder and stares up at the ceiling like he wishes he could be anywhere else. Terry presses her mouth to his stomach and Julio finally finds his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the. Fuck. Are you doing?” He blurts. The salt shaker slips out of Theresa’s hand and she laughs, straightening up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth or dare got kind of boring so we’ve moved onto body shots. And Bobby went to sleep. You can either play or you can leave!” Tabby declares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no, you assholes. Get up Star.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? What’s the problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he look like he’s enjoying this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shut up, you sound like Cable. We’re just having fun!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star won’t say no to something he doesn’t want to do. I don’t think he’s enjoying himself,” he says slowly, doing his best to spell it out for them as he crosses his arms, and boy does he </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> like Cable. What a trip. But he can’t not say anything. He’d be the worst best friend in the world. Especially after Star had confided in him about never having kissed anyone, been in a relationship, or even come close to getting laid. Apparently there was no fun allowed on Mojoworld. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julio is correct. I do not find this game enjoyable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry Star, I didn’t realize—,” Terry starts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you say anything?” Tabby interrupts, furrowing her brows. Her eyelids are heavy and the tops of her cheeks are flushed. So she’s just as plastered as him, if not more, he thinks. She’ll have a killer headache in the morning. They all will. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize that was an option.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… this is embarrassing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Star sits up. Julio pulls him up from the floor by the arm and practically shoves him out into the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to bed,” he says quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, come on, don’t make it weird!” Tabby shouts after them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too late!” He says over his shoulder, “You can still play together, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi, shut it ya pervert!” Theresa flips him the bird. He shoots them his best winning smile before disappearing from their sight. If only they knew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio returns his attention to Star, who he’s been dragging along behind him for the last minute. He’s calm, his jaw set, but he still looks like someone has drained him of all his color. Julio turns his wrist over to check his pulse and finds that it’s pounding, as he’d suspected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, Star, I shouldn’t have left. We’re never doing that again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star doesn’t say anything. He just stares at Julio. It’s Star’s classic method for dealing with any new emotion that he finds confusing or uncomfortable. Just refuse to acknowledge it and pretend like it isn’t happening. Julio understands it’s a reflex from his time on Mojoworld, where any weakness was probably a death sentence, but he can’t help but feel frustrated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what you want. Anything, and I’ll do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star makes a motion like a shrug. Julio throws their door open, not bothering to flip on the light because man is he tired, just chucks his shoes off instead. He and Star plop down on the edge of the bed at the same time. He cautiously pats Star’s shoulder in an attempt to be reassuring. For as close as they are, Julio has yet to discover what he can do to make Star feel better when he starts to get all weird on them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know they’re dumb asses when they drink, but they wouldn’t ever do something you didn’t want them to. That’s why you have to tell them when you don’t want to do something. They won’t know otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio makes a noise, “I don’t believe you. C’mon, is there something I can do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember when I asked you why Tabitha and Lila held hands? And you explained it was a gesture of friendship but that men are not supposed to make the same gesture to their male friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah…,” he remembered the conversation vividly, because it had been embarrassing and Julio had desperately, selfishly wished he could tell Star the opposite was true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you said it is not allowed, but I would like to hold your hand,” he says quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. That’s it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Star, I’ll make an exception for you,” he agrees, clasping their hands together and stretching out. Star lays down beside him. A simple, harmless action that might’ve made him freak out if he were sober. Thank god he’s not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star’s hands are unsurprisingly calloused. Julio wonders what his own hands feel like to him as he rubs what he hopes are soothing circles into Star’s palm with his thumb, eyes drooping as sleep looms closer and closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think, eventually, I will learn to behave normally, Julio? By Earth standards, I mean,” Star ventures, tentatively, as if he’s asking when a package might arrive or what time a TV show is going to come on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star…,” he begins. The answer is probably no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> by Earth standards, but it doesn’t matter because Star will always have him and Julio accepts all his oddball qualities no matter what and that should be enough. But the more reasonable side of him says that might </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> be enough for Star, that it isn’t fair to impose Julio's fantasies onto him, because Star might want someone else to share his life with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying very hard. But Earth is so confusing. And I seem to hate everything that everyone else enjoys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look around, it’s not like any of us are shining examples of normalcy either. That’s okay. There are other people in the world like you and us. We’re kind of surrounded by them, right now. And I’ll be here, if you want me,” he adds. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Selfish, selfish, selfish, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he tells himself. He’s going to fuck up his closest friend and for what? A stupid crush that he can’t even admit to having. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star nods, seemingly content with this answer and shuts his eyes. Despite being tired, Julio stays awake long after Star drifts off into a quiet slumber, torturing himself with an endless stream of nervous thoughts that not even Lila’s phenomenal liquor could chase away. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>When Julio wakes, Star is gone, just like any other morning. By now his insane training regimen will have been completed, but he also likes to do chores and other boring shit well into the afternoon. Julio’s head is splitting but he rolls out of bed anyways. He takes a shower, changes his sheets for once, and actually picks a few things up off the floor for a change. Julio’s messiness drives Star wild. His side of the room is bare and neatly organized. Probably helped by the fact that Star has very little personal belongings. Julio’s looks like a cartoonish junkyard, mostly because he doesn’t see any point in cleaning what will just get messy again anyways. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finds the man in question in the laundry room, doing his own clothes, like Julio had taught him. The first few times he’d completed a load of clothes on his own a lot of stuff had come out of the washer pink and the other guys had a cow. They had to have an intervention. Luckily, Star was a quick learner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey…,” he ventures. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello. I spoke to Tabitha and Theresa this morning. They were both violently ill and I thought they might be expiring. But, actually, they tell me it’s just a hangover. They apologized for their actions last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio balks when he notices the nails of one of his hands are painted navy blue. Fucking Tabitha, he was going to kill her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did Tabby paint your nails?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, just this hand though. She got bored halfway through,” he waves his left hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am going to watch television. What are you doing today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno. Can I watch TV with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star finishes up with the laundry and they walk side by side on their way to the common room. Unfortunately, Star is going through a phase, and decides on </span>
  <em>
    <span>16 Candles</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Julio makes a few desperate attempts to get him to watch a different movie, a manly action movie that Julio won’t have to feel guilty about watching, or a comedy that he might actually enjoy. But Star is stubborn and simply says that they can watch his picks </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> they watch </span>
  <em>
    <span>16 Candles</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Oh boy,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks as he sinks down into the couch cushions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire length of the movie is uncharacteristically filled with Star talking, asking a million questions about the various romantic and sexual parts of the movie that he didn’t understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would he ask for her undergarments, Julio?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Star,” Julio stammers, hoping it will be over soon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are they paying to see her undergarments?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teenagers,” he shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are they kissing in a church parking lot, Julio?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know… maybe they’re just too eager to wait until they’re not on holy ground.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A genius reply on his part. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this what all weddings look like on Earth? Julio, have you ever been to an Earth wedding?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah, quite a few times actually. They all sucked.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was mostly true. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time the movie ends, Julio is ready to run for the hills. But Star is still full of questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julio, have you ever desired someone romantically, like in this movie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Uh, yeah, right now,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>even though you’re making it very difficult</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had a crush on Tabitha when I was young but it was just kid stuff. We were young and dumb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you?” He ventures, dangerously. He can already predict the answer. But it doesn’t stop him from dreaming, even though if he had any sense in his head it </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star is quiet for some time, visibly mulling it over in his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he decides, “I don’t think I’m capable of these emotions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio literally deflates at the thought. He’s going to die alone. He hopes Star will at least visit him when they’re older. Maybe they can be roommates? Like, forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“However, I find myself confused about certain things. Actions like hugging and holding hands are often associated with the same feelings as kissing or being in a relationship. I have done some of these things with you and do not feel that I hate them. But other things seem repulsive to me. I do not understand where the feeling ends and the other begins. Does that make sense?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, people have preferences. Not everyone likes everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’s totally normal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do I discover what I like and don’t like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just try it out. If you don’t like it, you stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you try these things with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!” Julio screeches, completely undignified. He’s not sure if he felt the house shaking or if it’s just his imagination but he quickly reigns it in. He does not need anyone bursting in and asking why the ground is shaking right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem very knowledgeable about the subject. And I trust you very much to stop when I do not want to do something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even being the clueless virgin that he is, Star still manages to have more game than him by a longshot. Julio feels his heart turning to mush in his chest, his resolve melting away. Oh god, he can’t do this. He’d be the dumbest person in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. We’ll see what kind of stuff you like and don’t like. We’ll make it a game, alright, like this,” he grabs Star’s hand in his own, the one that Tabby painted for him, and asks, “How do you feel when I do this? Positive or negative?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive,” he answers easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he places a hand on Star’s shoulder and back and squeezes. “Positive or negative?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive,” he says again, still in a bright mood. Julio allows himself to be a little bolder, taking it as encouragement, and he really shouldn’t. He feels guilt and shame building up in his chest slowly but the thrill of touching Star is somehow a greater, more persistent feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He puts his hand flat against Star’s chest over his heart and feels his heartbeat, feels his own pulse frantically thrumming away in his fingertips, and asks, “Positive or negative?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, he really is the biggest dumbass in the world, he thinks, but that still doesn’t stop him from picking his hand up and placing it against Star’s smooth, soft cheek. He delusionally thinks Star leans into it for a moment but, no, he decides. It’s just his spectacularly fucking stupid imagination. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive or negative?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star is quiet for a moment. Julio’s heart thunders in his chest, bordering on painful. He starts to think he might just die until Star smiles at him shyly and nods his head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shy,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks. Star is never shy. He’s, like, gotta be hallucinating at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, see, you’re halfway there,” Julio tells him distantly, in his own world, thinking about things he could never have.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Halfway where?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shakes himself, reminds himself who he’s with and what he’s doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Halfway to liking this stuff. You know, like physical affection. Now you just have to work on the other stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What other stuff, Julio? Can you show me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” He says a little too forcefully, then, remembering who he’s with he corrects himself, “No, Star, remember that stuff I told you about. That guys can’t do with each other? Maybe you could ask Tabby, I mean, I’m sure she’d be over the moon to get any kind of action.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you said we couldn’t hold hands and then we did?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I made an exception, one time, for totally scientific reasons,” he holds his index finger up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you let me hold your hand the other night too, Julio. We were not playing this scientific experiment then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s innocent, like it always is with Star, but Julio can’t help but feel defensive. Like Star has him caught him in the act and now he’s trying to make Julio make a fool of himself. He crosses his arms self consciously and turns away from him, feeling uncomfortable under Star’s gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said no, I don’t want to, not with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that mean you want to with someone else?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio scrambles up from the sofa, face feeling red hot and skin crawling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, I’ve got to go,” he stutters out. He drowns out any protests he hears from Star and practically sprints back to his room. He truly felt like a genius indeed.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>It’s incredibly awkward the moment Star opens their door and creeps inside. He’d been avoiding Julio for the last few days. Baby’s first silent treatment, he guessed. Star sits down at the edge of his bed, still and silent. Julio pretends like he’s very busy, like he doesn’t even notice him, like everything Star is doing isn’t taking up space in his brain at all times. He can’t help but fidget nervously in his own bed. </p><p>
  <span>“I apologize for making you upset, Julio, I should not have asked you to do those things,” Star says, breaking the silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t see Star’s face for the darkness but he can tell by his voice that he’s earnest, he always is, and Julio feels guilt settle into that all too familiar pit in his chest. He’s such a bad friend. He’s such a bad </span>
  <em>
    <span>person</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, you don’t have to apologize. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have even suggested it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a good suggestion. Do not be sorry for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” He fiddles with the fraying edge of his blanket. He can’t see Star but he knows that he can see Julio, and that thought embarasses him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, these things make more sense to me now. Although, I wonder if I would feel differently if someone else did those things to me, so perhaps asking Tabitha for assistance is a good idea too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would you feel different if it was someone else?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio feels like a deer caught in headlights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I find myself preferring to do things with you that I don’t enjoy with anyone else. I imagine this will be the same. Do you think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I have no idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I will find out, and I will tell you. What are these other things that I can expect to do with Tabitha? I’ve watched many movies and TV shows in hopes of finding out but they don’t make it much clearer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’ll tell you, but don’t get embarrassed when I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise, I won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, there’s kissing, and like, making out, and handjobs, and body shots like they were doing to you the other day. And… you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sex, Star. That’s how we’re made and it’s, uh, part of the human experience or whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is not how I was made. I do not believe I will enjoy it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio just laughs, a nervous laugh, and says, “Yeah, probably don’t ask Tabby to do that, I think she’d kill you. Forget the handjob thing too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did not know that kissing and making out were two separate actions. I thought they were the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Making out involves more tongue. And lots of groping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Groping?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god,” he puts his hands to his face, “I don’t think you’d like that either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. And it is unnatural to not enjoy these things on Earth? There is something wrong with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, no, that’s not what I meant. If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to. No one is going to force you. And there are people who have died virgins before. Like Queen Elizabeth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Queen Elizabeth is not dead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean the first one, not the current one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. I think I have decided, I would like to die a virgin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio slides his hands down his face and laughs, flooded with the relief of knowing that Star isn’t mad at him anymore, “Man, you’re nuts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not a food item, Julio, I am a person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio laughs again and chucks a pillow over at him, “Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mean it seriously. I’m just joking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it normal to feel this nervous feeling, right here,” he puts a hand under his rib cage, “I feel the same as right before a fight. I am afraid to ask Tabitha. I’m afraid I won’t like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know they say to imagine the crowd is wearing their underwear when you have to make a public speech so you won’t be nervous. Maybe you could try that?” He suggests, as if that would help Star’s situation at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Imagine Tabitha in her underwear? What is with the preoccupation with women’s undergarments on this planet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio snorts and throws his head back, “Come over here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star does as he’s asked, sitting down at the end of his bed, legs crossed. The light from the moon and a few old lamp posts outside pour through the window, bathing his friend in their warm glow. His long hair hangs over his shoulder, catching in the light, and for the first time all night Julio realizes that Star’s face is red. It’s flushed all the way from his cheeks down his neck, dipping below the collar of his shirt, and Julio feels bad. Really bad. This must be like 20 times harder for Star than it ever was for him, even during his most awkward stages. And Julio keeps making it worse. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh god, what should he do?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would it make you feel better if you tried it with me instead of Tabby?” He offers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He says it so easily, like it’s a relief. Julio could just lean over and do it. It’s not like Star would have a clue. Sure he’s seen it on TV, but he seems to neither truly understand nor give a shit about stuff like that. Julio could kiss him once and finally put this to rest. But he just can’t bring himself to. It’s too embarrassing and he feels like he’s doing something wrong, playing with Star like a cat plays with a mouse. Instead, he leans forward, probably a little too quickly, and puts his arms around Star’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive or negative?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julio, you have hugged me before,” Star says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. Positive or negative?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive,” Star rests his head on Julio’s shoulder. Julio pulls back awkwardly and reluctantly. They’re a lot closer now, so close that Julio can feel Star’s breath ghost across his face, stirring his hair ever so lightly. He can’t look at him. If he does he’ll drop fucking dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no. That’s not it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He makes an aborted effort to move closer to Star’s face but stops himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Close your eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star does so obediently. Julio stares at his face for a long time, trying and failing to work up the nerve to do it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just get it over with and you can go back to pretending like you’re not a freak with a crush on your best friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he tries to tell himself. He leans over and places the quickest, most chaste kiss in all of mankind to the corner of Star’s mouth. Jane Austen herself would be bored to tears, and yet his heart feels like it’s banging out of his chest, splitting him open. Is it possible to die of a heart attack at this age? He guesses he’ll find out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How— er, yes or… or no?” He can barely stutter out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive,” Star opens his eyes, “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio’s mind goes completely blank. All the responses he’d been mulling over in his head were gone. To be apathetic about it, confused, even disgusted? Those were all reactions he could have expected. For Star to enjoy it? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he do this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, wait,” he jerks away, like he’s been electrocuted, “This is wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Is it because you and I are both male?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Well, yes, but that’s not what I mean. I shouldn’t have done this, it was wrong of me. I’m being selfish and a fucking weirdo, I don’t know why I’d ever ask you to do this stuff. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not think you’re selfish or a ‘weirdo’. You’ve been very helpful to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, god,” he smooths his hair down roughly, stumbling off the bed and pacing the distance between his side of the room and Star’s, “No I wasn’t being helpful, Star, I just wanted an excuse to kiss you, I lied, and I’m sorry! It’s really fucked up and I shouldn’t have done it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you did not hurt me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tricked you! I, like, lied to get what I wanted! You should be mad! You should want to break my neck or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did not trick me? I asked you to. I would not break your neck, ever, Julio. You could die.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dios, I wish I would,” he sinks down onto the shaggy, blue rug Tabitha had given them. Everything his father and cousins and uncles had ever said about gay people had been true. The only way he could ever get what he wanted was if he tricked people. Tricked </span>
  <em>
    <span>men</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Star just didn’t understand. He wasn’t from Earth and he didn’t understand feelings and it made Julio feel sick that he’d taken advantage of him knowing all of that anyways. How had he deluded himself into thinking he was helping Star or making things easier for him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star slides down off the mattress and sits beside him on the floor, reaching a hand out to place on Ric’s shoulder, “I do not wish you would die. If you did, I would kill whoever was responsible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs, bordering on hysteria, and throws an arm over his face in some sad attempt to hide his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t funny, Julio,” Star grumbles, pulling his arm away from his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not laughing at you, I just, I’m laughing because I’m nervous. I wish I hadn’t done all this. I’m sick in the head.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kissing someone is hardly a sign of illness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t understand. This,” he waves a hand in between them, “isn’t normal. If I did this to any other guy, they’d want to take my head off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> are not understanding. On Mojoworld, we do not share such prejudices.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” He blinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is your hearing alright?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star reaches a tender hand out to him, as if he might touch him, but Julio intercepts it and pushes it away. He instantly regrets it, because the look on Star’s face makes him feel guilty </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He literally can’t do anything right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They let people be gay on Mojoworld?” He blurts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who does not let you here on Earth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not just one person, Star, it’s a lot of people. Like it used to be illegal here, but now it’s not, but they still don’t let people get married. It’s complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will cancel them all, I do not care how many of them there are,” Star declares. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio wishes it were all that simple. He turns over on his side, his back to Star, and closes his eyes. Fuck, is he tired. In more ways than one. Star is so willing to understand and accept and be accepted. He wonders what the other guys would think if Julio confessed. Would they stop trusting him? Make him shower in the girls room? Would Tabby and Rahne feel insulted, like he’d led them on? Being in the closet forever was looking more and more desirable by the minute.</span>
</p><p><span>To think people on Mojoworld of all places might be more accepting of him than his own friends on Earth was too much for him to wrap his head around. Acceptance and freedom were not words that belonged in the same sentence as Mojoworld. He’d always known that Star being a total virgin didn’t have anything to do with where he was from. Julio had heard enough about Longshot to know he </span><em><span>definitely</span></em><span> knew how sex worked. It was just that, apparently, Star had never been with anyone, had said he’d never even thought about anyone romantically before, for whatever reason. Tonight had probably been his first romantic encounter ever. </span><em><span>Well, </span></em><span>he thinks, </span><em><span>at</span></em> <em><span>least he could count on having one friend if his secret ever got out. </span></em></p><p>
  <span>Julio shoots up from his place on the floor. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why had he not thought about that before. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julio?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, tell me I wasn’t your first kiss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me I did not just ruin your first ever kiss, por favor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did not ruin my first kiss, Julio, I liked it very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ay, dios mío!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there something else the matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your first kiss is supposed to be with somebody you like! I hate myself! You have total permission to kill me. I accept death. I think I’m ready to go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not listening—,” Star begins but Julio can’t bear to hear it. He wishes the ground would swallow him up. He wishes the world would end! Anything that might get him out of this supremely humiliating situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scrambling to his feet, he crosses the room in a few strides, jerking the door open, and slamming it shut behind him. The manor is big, easy to get lost in, so he does. He finds a room that looks like it hasn’t been used since before he’d even been </span>
  <em>
    <span>born</span>
  </em>
  <span> and stretches out on a dusty, dated couch. He didn’t think to bring a blanket with him but it doesn’t matter anyways. He doesn’t get any sleep. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Julio only returns to his room because laying on the couch is starting to kill his back and he’s paranoid about someone catching him in there and asking questions. When he slips through the door he, thankfully, finds it empty. He’s covered in a layer of dust from the couch so he strips and changes into a new shirt and pair of jeans, ready to make a break for it as soon as he’s done. If he asks Tabitha, she’ll totally let him hide out in her room for a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, just as he’s on his way out, the door swings open. Julio ducks his head and prepares to scoot past Star when he’s yanked up by his collar and slammed into their dresser.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julio Richter, you have been very unkind to me. I demand to know why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about kissing you. It was wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That isn’t what I mean! You are a terrible listener!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio struggles to readjust himself, the backs of his legs burning from trying to hold himself up on just the tips of his toes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m confused, what do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been hiding from me all day, despite my efforts to comfort you to the best of my abilities. If I have done a bad job I wish for you to explain it to me, not ignore me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Comfort me? So this isn’t about… the kiss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you I didn’t care that you kissed me and that I do not share such mean opinions as your Earth friends. Instead of listening, you ran off and have not talked to me since. That is not being a good friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to say! This is all a lot. I think I’ve made it awkward between us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then make it not awkward!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how to do that! Man, can you let me down, my legs are killing me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star releases the collar of his shirt but doesn’t move. He’s really serious about this. Julio can barely meet his eyes. This is all so embarrassing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just figured you didn’t want to be around me. That I’d, like, ruined our friendship. I kind of panicked. It’s okay if you don’t like me anymore, what I did was pretty shitty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I do like you, Julio. I’m not an idiot. I was perfectly aware of what we were doing. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>asked</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You keep saying what you did was wrong but I did not feel that way. You are panicking because you like men, and presumably there will be a negative reaction from your friends and teammates if you reveal this to them? But I do not share the same opinions as your Earth friends. I would not betray you for something so trivial?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, they would have a negative reaction! The guys would think I was checking them out every time we’ve ever showered or changed together. And it’s not just the team. Imagine the X-Men! You think Wolverine or Xavier will be accepting? They were born forever ago. In those days they used to string up people like me, you know, or put them in jail. I didn’t realize that things were so lax on Mojoworld. On Earth, this is a big deal. I, just, don't know how to handle this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will defend you against Wolverine. He is small and very stupid. I would not let them hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, you’re pretty amazing but you can’t fight all of the X-Men at once,” Julio scrubs his face, “Besides, they probably wouldn’t even bother with beating my ass anyways. They’d just kick me off the team.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They would really do that, Julio? Would Tabitha or Cable or Roberto not defend you? Surely, as mutants, they understand that you can not change this about yourself. The good you’ve done should outweigh their negative perception of your sexuality.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio feels his face heat up at the compliment. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So not the time,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I had to guess, not all of the X-Men would have a problem with it. But being a mutant doesn’t make you automatically accept everyone else. They might be split down the middle. Can you imagine if they all had to take a vote to decide if they wanted me to stay or not? I’d just leave anyways, I couldn’t stand the humiliation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can not help but look at them differently knowing that they might not be accepting of you, Julio. If that is truly how the X-Men feel, they’re cowards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio slips past Star and falls back onto his bed, hands crossed over his chest. He could sleep forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t tell anyone. Ever. It’s our secret, understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” Star follows him, folding his legs over each other neatly at the foot of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do not apologize. We are friends. We shall share the burden of this secret together,” Star shrugs, “Julio, if I found that I had an interest in men do you think there would be a negative reaction as well? Or will I be excused because I am not from this planet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. They would probably treat you the same as someone from Earth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. We will both keep our interest in men on the fly. It is none of their business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the </span>
  <em>
    <span>sly, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Star.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” he reaches across the bed to grab one of Julio’s books off the nightstand. Julio just laughs and taps his foot against Star’s knee before freezing. Wait—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you just say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm? I said whatever. Your idioms all sound the same, I see little distinction between them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no. I mean before that. Did you say </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> interest in men?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Julio. You are not a very good listener.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, you like men?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sets the book down on the bed, an innocent look on his face, “Yes? Is this okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait— what?” He waves a hand through the air, trying not to flip out again. It’s been like a week. It took Julio years to even understand sexuality in general, let alone come to terms with his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julio, we must seek an appointment with an ear specialist at once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on, hold on, I’m a little confused. I thought you were, like, straight? You were trying to get comfortable with kissing and stuff? To date women?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was not trying to do anything but behave normally. Relationships and sex are so very important to the people of this planet. I felt there might be something wrong with me if I didn’t engage in them myself. Theresa, Jimmy, Sam, Roberto, and you have all hit these milestones and I have not. Whether that be with a man or woman, I have no preference. I believe the qualifications are that it just has to be someone I like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Star, you freaked out the other day when all Theresa did was lick your stomach?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star's face goes scarlet and he ducks his head, “I did not freak out. I was perfectly still and silent. I would have allowed it to happen if you had not told them to stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Star, this isn’t Mojoworld. You don’t just allow things to happen to you, not sexual stuff of all things! You must be enthusiastic and willing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he says, and makes a face like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> strange.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like men. And women. Holy fuck. Star, I didn’t realize. I thought you didn’t give a fuck about relationships.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are certain aspects of romantic relationships that I find desirable. Then there are things that make me feel odd and uncomfortable. I told you this the other day, Julio.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. I was having gay panic. It was hard to focus. I’ve kind of been having gay panic since I met you, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is a term to describe this experience? Is it a common occurrence?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess” Julio snorts, “Although, most people probably don’t manage to fuck things up as spectacularly as I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not think you did so bad. You did not fuck up when kissing me. I liked it very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio chokes on air as he inhales and has to sit up, “You liked kissing me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it was good. You are good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio’s quarter life crisis has come to a screeching halt. Hmmm. The person he likes, likes him back. And thinks he’s a good kisser. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I am to behave normally, perhaps I should practice these things frequently. So that I might become good at them too,” Star shrugs, seemingly nonchalant but his face is bright red again, giving his intentions away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio has to force his jaw to stay shut. Star had been thinking about relationships for less than a week and he was already coming up with lines to seduce people. Seduce </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you flirting with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. Am I? I don’t know what flirting is. I was mostly trying to get you to kiss me without having to say it outright but I suppose your listening skills are too poor for me to beat around the bush and still have the desired effect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio takes a deep breath and then rolls his eyes. Asshole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julio crawls over to him and pushes him down with a gentle hand flat against his chest before he has the time to think twice about what he’s doing and ruin it. Star swallows nervously and parts his lips but he doesn’t make any indication that he’d like to stop. Taking it as his go ahead, Julio leans down. Before he has the opportunity to press a kiss to his mouth, Star is arching up off the bed, trying to meet him. Julio has to catch his face in his hands before they break each other’s noses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he tells him, turning Star’s head at a better angle, “Like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kisses him in earnest. Star groans and rests a hesitant hand against his jaw. Nope. Not at all how he thought this would end up going but he’s certainly not complaining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Move your mouth,” he whispers, lips still pressed against his. He follows directions instantly, copying Rictor to the best of his ability. He's still a bit clumsy and obviously new at it, but he’s enthusiastic and catching on quickly and stupidly pretty so Julio can give him a pass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He holds his hands over Julio’s waist, not quite touching, just hovering. Julio wraps his own hand around Star’s wrist and places it against him, in a gesture that he hopes is encouraging. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can touch me. It’s okay,” he tells him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star nods, sliding his hands up and down Julio’s sides in drawn out, precise motions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star nods eagerly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure? We can stop any— hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Star flips Julio over onto his back and twists a hand in his shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you do not resume kissing me, I will take you up on the offer of killing you, Julio Richter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Star presses his mouth to Julio this time around, he’s already perfected his technique. Julio sinks into the bed, feeling warm and content, his hands tangled in Star’s hair and shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beat around the bush, huh?” He laughs as they come up for air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Did I say it wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, actually, you said it correctly. That’s why it surprised me,” he grins against Star’s mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Star says happily, kissing Julio again. For once in his life, Julio listens. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you can’t tell, I vastly prefer 90’s virgin Star to the oversexualized Star of the 2000’s and beyond. Non-bi people… I am watching you. I do not trust you. And I will take your horny privileges in an instant. </p><p>I have a tumblr (https://uncannyxmns.tumblr.com/). I’m barely active but I have it nonetheless. Until next time, cowboys.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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